It's time for another edition of Overheard. You know...the one-liners and jokes you hear at parties and other gatherings that somehow end up becoming the "tagline" for a person?
Overheard at a Ptolemy dinner party: "Pour until it looks good."
Overheard at the copier in the office when discussing the weekend's activities:
"What did you do last weekend?"
"Went to Alabama to see the spring football game."
"That sounds fun. Did they win?"
Overheard in the lobby of the U-Club after Saturday's Krewes for Kids fundraiser: "Jandy. You know, like those Hollywood one-name couples. We're goin' to Jandy Lamandy's house!!"
Overheard at skit practice for another Carnival event: "I thought 'Dirrrrty Divas was just something cute they called themselves!"
To most of you, these make no sense. But they were hella funny at the time.
We are finally getting a week with no rain, hallelujah! I know it's spring time and we need it and all, but it really puts a damper (no pun intended) on the weekends. Plus, it's a big one coming up with a crawfish boil and another Krewe's party coming up on Saturday. I'd be happy to just be able to wash my car -- a rain storm does not equal a quality car wash. If anything, it looks dirtier now than it did before it rained.
Back to work. The weather may be wonderful, but this pile of papers on my desk is not.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
va scavenger hunt
Chillin' in the Roanoke airport...they don't use sky bridges here, if that tells you anything. But they DO have free Wi-Fi, and I'll trade that for having to walk out on the tarmac any day. I am so glad to be going home! If anything, just to get in my nice comfy bed again. Hotel beds are notsogood, ya know?
Saw a lot of weird and funny things on my first trip to the Old Dominion State (thank you, Google). People can bag on Arkansas and Tennessee and other Southern states all they want to about being backwards and hick-ish...and although I don't consider Virgina a Southern state (regular snow does not equal South to me), it definitely fits in the "slightly towards caveman" cultural category.
It has been damp, chilly and overcast the entire trip, so photos were pretty much nil. but I'll share with you some things that I saw/experienced:
Mennonites. I was corrected by a co-worker that they were not, in fact, Amish, because Amish people don't wear patterned fabrics. They do wear those little black ding-dongle hats, though. And dude had a wicked beard underneath his Lincoln hat!
Groundhog. I'd never seen one in person before, not even at the zoo. He looked like he would chew your face off, seriously.
Albino deer. I thought it was a dog at first, way out in the field behind my client's site, but was informed it was an albino deer. Albino deer are actually not a good thing, because it indicates too much inbreeding in the species in an area. I told you this place was a straight-line family tree kind of neighborhood!!
Pointy mountains. The Blue Ridge and Allegheny Mountains are not like any other mountains I've ever seen. They are all straight on the sides and pointy...kind of like Madonna's cone bras of yesteryear. Granted, I'm no mountain expert seeing as how I grew up on the Grand Prairie in Arkansas...but I can tell you when I think a mountain looks like a cone bra.
Zoning issues. This area has serious zoning issues. Broken down trailers sit next door to million dollar mansions. Somehow I don't believe HOA's are a priority here.
Speaking of trailers...we got sidetracked (I won't say lost...we knew we were in Virginia the whole time!) last night and took a cultural side trip to Lafayette, VA. This must be where mobile homes go to die. This tiny little hamlet village of no more than 50-ish homes was made up of 95% trailers and 5% just plain scary little houses. And I'm not lying when I tell you that, just across an old rickety wooden bridge was a mobile home park. With a van. Down by the river.
I can't make this stuff up.
So, leg-lifting airport farters and hillbillies aside, it has been a successful trip on the job front and a thankfully brief trip on the sanity front. Bluff City, here I come!
Saw a lot of weird and funny things on my first trip to the Old Dominion State (thank you, Google). People can bag on Arkansas and Tennessee and other Southern states all they want to about being backwards and hick-ish...and although I don't consider Virgina a Southern state (regular snow does not equal South to me), it definitely fits in the "slightly towards caveman" cultural category.
It has been damp, chilly and overcast the entire trip, so photos were pretty much nil. but I'll share with you some things that I saw/experienced:
Mennonites. I was corrected by a co-worker that they were not, in fact, Amish, because Amish people don't wear patterned fabrics. They do wear those little black ding-dongle hats, though. And dude had a wicked beard underneath his Lincoln hat!
Groundhog. I'd never seen one in person before, not even at the zoo. He looked like he would chew your face off, seriously.
Albino deer. I thought it was a dog at first, way out in the field behind my client's site, but was informed it was an albino deer. Albino deer are actually not a good thing, because it indicates too much inbreeding in the species in an area. I told you this place was a straight-line family tree kind of neighborhood!!
Pointy mountains. The Blue Ridge and Allegheny Mountains are not like any other mountains I've ever seen. They are all straight on the sides and pointy...kind of like Madonna's cone bras of yesteryear. Granted, I'm no mountain expert seeing as how I grew up on the Grand Prairie in Arkansas...but I can tell you when I think a mountain looks like a cone bra.
Zoning issues. This area has serious zoning issues. Broken down trailers sit next door to million dollar mansions. Somehow I don't believe HOA's are a priority here.
Speaking of trailers...we got sidetracked (I won't say lost...we knew we were in Virginia the whole time!) last night and took a cultural side trip to Lafayette, VA. This must be where mobile homes go to die. This tiny little hamlet village of no more than 50-ish homes was made up of 95% trailers and 5% just plain scary little houses. And I'm not lying when I tell you that, just across an old rickety wooden bridge was a mobile home park. With a van. Down by the river.
I can't make this stuff up.
So, leg-lifting airport farters and hillbillies aside, it has been a successful trip on the job front and a thankfully brief trip on the sanity front. Bluff City, here I come!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
travel scents
One of the perks (albeit small) of business travel is that it does give you time for some good people watching. Airports are an incredible microcosm of the human existence...every single type of humanity thrown into a relatively small area that operates nearly 24/7. They could seriously devote an entire National Geographic documentary to it, althoug I suppose the Travel Channel would make more sense.
So I'm on my way to Roanoke, VA, on a business trip. The sheer fact that I'm traveling on a Sunday (and Easter Sunday, at that) has made me a tad bitter. But whatever. I'm attempting to make the best of it. So far it hasn't been so much of the people watching as it has been the people smelling. It it some little-known religious tradition not to bathe or otherwise smell decent on Easter Sunday? Good grief!! I was stuck between a family of habla only Espanol people on the flight from Memphis to Atlanta. (Please don't get me started on how I feel about non-English speaking persons in America. I kept telling myself that they were only passing through on their way home to somewhere in the Hispanola.) So, naturally, they were smelling a little less than fresh. But to top it off, the lady in front of me...whose hat tag was sticking out; it was made of 100% polyester if that tells you anything...really took the cake when it came to not coming up roses. She should have taken a cake of soap and some hot water prior to boarding. Ugh.
So that was an hour of my life when fresh, clean air became a thing of the past. A distant memory to which I really felt I had taken for granted. Yuck!
Once in the Atlanta airport, also known as possibly the seventh gate of Hell, things didn't really get any better. Some Borat impersonater plopped down beside me in a fairly empty gate (HELLO?!! Twenty bazillion other chairs available, my good fellow) and proceeded to begin shedding about ten layers of clothing. My goodness...I had no idea they were giving away free flights to the homeless today! But that could not even begin to eclipse what he did next, which still brings a shiver to my spine: he (honest to God, here) lifted his leg and proceeded to rip one. In public!! On purpose!! And less than 3 feet away from me!!
For a minute there, I really thought I must be on candid camera or Punk'd. I mean, really, who does that?? I'm still fairly grossed out. Uhm, make that, completely grossed out. I moved over to a lonely corner next to an electrical outlet about five seconds after this occurred...not only to juice up my laptop, but to regain my sense of composure and let the horror completely wash over me in a more private place.
I really feel sorry for the people on his next flight. He's now wolfing down a double Whopper from Burger King.
With extra mayo.
Which just dripped down on his pants leg.
So help me, if he's flying to Roanoke, too, I may just have to request seating beneath the plane with the luggage. I don't know that I can live through another hour and change in close quarters with that.
So I'm on my way to Roanoke, VA, on a business trip. The sheer fact that I'm traveling on a Sunday (and Easter Sunday, at that) has made me a tad bitter. But whatever. I'm attempting to make the best of it. So far it hasn't been so much of the people watching as it has been the people smelling. It it some little-known religious tradition not to bathe or otherwise smell decent on Easter Sunday? Good grief!! I was stuck between a family of habla only Espanol people on the flight from Memphis to Atlanta. (Please don't get me started on how I feel about non-English speaking persons in America. I kept telling myself that they were only passing through on their way home to somewhere in the Hispanola.) So, naturally, they were smelling a little less than fresh. But to top it off, the lady in front of me...whose hat tag was sticking out; it was made of 100% polyester if that tells you anything...really took the cake when it came to not coming up roses. She should have taken a cake of soap and some hot water prior to boarding. Ugh.
So that was an hour of my life when fresh, clean air became a thing of the past. A distant memory to which I really felt I had taken for granted. Yuck!
Once in the Atlanta airport, also known as possibly the seventh gate of Hell, things didn't really get any better. Some Borat impersonater plopped down beside me in a fairly empty gate (HELLO?!! Twenty bazillion other chairs available, my good fellow) and proceeded to begin shedding about ten layers of clothing. My goodness...I had no idea they were giving away free flights to the homeless today! But that could not even begin to eclipse what he did next, which still brings a shiver to my spine: he (honest to God, here) lifted his leg and proceeded to rip one. In public!! On purpose!! And less than 3 feet away from me!!
For a minute there, I really thought I must be on candid camera or Punk'd. I mean, really, who does that?? I'm still fairly grossed out. Uhm, make that, completely grossed out. I moved over to a lonely corner next to an electrical outlet about five seconds after this occurred...not only to juice up my laptop, but to regain my sense of composure and let the horror completely wash over me in a more private place.
I really feel sorry for the people on his next flight. He's now wolfing down a double Whopper from Burger King.
With extra mayo.
Which just dripped down on his pants leg.
So help me, if he's flying to Roanoke, too, I may just have to request seating beneath the plane with the luggage. I don't know that I can live through another hour and change in close quarters with that.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
madness
It's tournament time again, and for the past few years I've had the pleasure of living in a basketball town. There are a number of reasons why it's fun to live in a basketball town:1. Team Spirit. I'm a sports nut, and I thrive on team spirit. It's such a good feeling when everyone is rooting for a common cause. On my way to work today there were splashes of blue everywhere and nearly all of the morning DJ's were talking about today's game. In a city where color is so divisive, it's nice once in awhile to have everyone on the same bandwagon. 
2. Work Perks. Being a Tiger fan (even if it's only during basketball season) is a good thing where I work. It means getting to wear jeans and team t-shirts on game days and having a pizza party during the game. It means gathering in the conference room to watch the game on the big flat screen and sneak a beer. Having a laptop with wireless is a bonus, because you don't have to go back to your desk right away.
3. Public Image. Most of the time if you mention M-town, it conjures images of Elvis, Dr. King and crime. It seems like that (and BBQ) is all we're known for. But come tournament time, the media is a little kinder to the Bluff City and actually goes the extra mile to tell the good stories that come out of this town. Yeah, our city government is jacked and we do have our share of thuggery...but it's not a Gotham City. There are so many good things about this town that oftengo unrecognized by its own citizens, much less outsiders. At least once a year we get a chance to show that good side.
There are more reasons, but those are really the top three. It's just a feel-good time right now; with the weather changing, flowers blooming and the Tigers winning. We all need a shot of that optimism and enthusiasm with all of the other crap that's bringing us down. People give the shaft to sports alot, saying, "It's just a game." But the game can give back, and right now it's giving us all a chance to get away from the constant stories of the economy, the government and the war. It's giving us a reason to cheer and be a part of a team. I'll always be an A-State fan first, but...when in Rome, you know? So, go Tigers go!! And thanks for the memories.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
prodigal
My God...I am so ashamed. I don't even know what to tell you. Blogging has just about fallen off of my list of priorities these days. Actual work keeps me extremely busy and I've been spending my lunch breaks checking Facebook for friends that I can't find the time to call anymore. (Speaking of Facebook, my 10 year high school reunion is looming this year -- holy crap!) Between work, the gym, and other extracurricular responsibilities, you'd think I'd have plenty to talk about. Alas; I suck at this. That just leaves more room for improvement, right?
So, let's see...since my last post in late 2008 (ack!) relatively little has happened. My parents bought O-Boy and me a Wii and Wii Fit, so we play much more than two adults really should. It's wierdly addictive. O-Boy's nephew was born in mid-January, so I've been working on getting over my aversion to babies and kids.
I've read a lot since the beginning of the year, too, although nothing that would be noteworthy among true literary geniuses, I'm sure: The Devil Wears Prada, Angry Housewives Eating Bon-Bons, The Bretheren and Twilight. The first three were actually re-reads of stuff I had lying around the house (or half-reads...stuff I had started and never finished). Surprisingly enough, I got tricked into Twilight just because I'd been hearing so much about it and finished the damn thing in about 4 days. I'm now roughly 60 pages away from finishing New Moon and I started it on Sunday. The series has really sucked me in and I look forward to reading the last two books as well. I may even see how the movie compares once it comes out on DVD. Like I said, my reading material probably doesn't compare with what the smarties are reading down at the local Starbucks, but I haven't read this much since my freshman year of college, so it's nice to get back into the habit.
That pretty much brings you up to speed. Perhaps I should have started off with a disclaimer that this wouldn't be my most thought-provoking post ever. Regardless...I really don't know what else to do. Some days I seriously consider just deleting the ol' blog altogether and somedays I feel such a nostalgic affinity for it and wish that I could put more of my journalism skills to good use. Me, undecided? That's not really a new description, now is it? To be continued...although it may be another two months!
So, let's see...since my last post in late 2008 (ack!) relatively little has happened. My parents bought O-Boy and me a Wii and Wii Fit, so we play much more than two adults really should. It's wierdly addictive. O-Boy's nephew was born in mid-January, so I've been working on getting over my aversion to babies and kids.
I've read a lot since the beginning of the year, too, although nothing that would be noteworthy among true literary geniuses, I'm sure: The Devil Wears Prada, Angry Housewives Eating Bon-Bons, The Bretheren and Twilight. The first three were actually re-reads of stuff I had lying around the house (or half-reads...stuff I had started and never finished). Surprisingly enough, I got tricked into Twilight just because I'd been hearing so much about it and finished the damn thing in about 4 days. I'm now roughly 60 pages away from finishing New Moon and I started it on Sunday. The series has really sucked me in and I look forward to reading the last two books as well. I may even see how the movie compares once it comes out on DVD. Like I said, my reading material probably doesn't compare with what the smarties are reading down at the local Starbucks, but I haven't read this much since my freshman year of college, so it's nice to get back into the habit.
That pretty much brings you up to speed. Perhaps I should have started off with a disclaimer that this wouldn't be my most thought-provoking post ever. Regardless...I really don't know what else to do. Some days I seriously consider just deleting the ol' blog altogether and somedays I feel such a nostalgic affinity for it and wish that I could put more of my journalism skills to good use. Me, undecided? That's not really a new description, now is it? To be continued...although it may be another two months!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
the season of giving
Ahh, it's Christmas Eve. The first day of my extremely generous holiday vacation (not going back until January 5th!) and thus far...well, it hasnt' been all that great. But let's back up to yesterday at noon, because that's really when everything began.
The office closed at noon yesterday and I was pretty happy as I walked down the stairwell to my car. I was giddy with the promise of two weeks of freedom, and it reminded me of the way I used to feel as a kid on the last day of school before summer break when the days stretched before me, empty and begging for endless projects and fun. The downside to adulthood, though, is that endless projects are a part of my everyday life...and usually not so fun. So naturally, I had a to-do list the moment I stepped away from my desk.
First on the list was to drop by a nearby UPS Store to try and re-route a package that was to arrive sooner than I had anticipated. I won't even get into the drama with Walgreen's from whence the package was coming -- they were already on my shit list. The store was completely empty as I stepped up to the counter and explained my situation to the clerk. He brusquely wrote UPS's customer service telephone number on a Post-It and told me I could call for more information. Whatever happened to helping customers face-to-face?!! There was absolutely no one else in that store -- he could have offered to call the number with me to work out the problem. But I guess my piddly issue with trying to arrange for a Christmas gift to be under the tree for my dad was just not on his radar screen that day. Ugh. I'm still obviously very pissed about it. So to UPS, I gave the finger.
Lower lip in full-on pout mode, I made my way to Lifeblood for my appointment to donate platelets. I have a really rare blood type (AB-), so they are always calling me to donate platelets for one of the children's hospitals here in town. Although I was still feeling slightly crappy from sinus issues, I couldn't consciously refuse to give life-saving platelets to a child for Christmas, so I went anyway and tethered myself to the IV for two hours. So to Lifeblood (and LeBonher), I gave of myself.
Then on to the bank to file a claim for debit card fraud. Over the weekend, several fraudulent charges popped up on my account, and the bank associate told me that once it posted, I needed to come in and file a claim. There's a whole lot of other hullaballo that goes along with this to...so to the bank and to the fucktard that stole my debit card number...I give of my precious time.
And with that...I'll give myself a shower and hope that the rest of this holiday break ends up better than the beginning so far!
The office closed at noon yesterday and I was pretty happy as I walked down the stairwell to my car. I was giddy with the promise of two weeks of freedom, and it reminded me of the way I used to feel as a kid on the last day of school before summer break when the days stretched before me, empty and begging for endless projects and fun. The downside to adulthood, though, is that endless projects are a part of my everyday life...and usually not so fun. So naturally, I had a to-do list the moment I stepped away from my desk.
First on the list was to drop by a nearby UPS Store to try and re-route a package that was to arrive sooner than I had anticipated. I won't even get into the drama with Walgreen's from whence the package was coming -- they were already on my shit list. The store was completely empty as I stepped up to the counter and explained my situation to the clerk. He brusquely wrote UPS's customer service telephone number on a Post-It and told me I could call for more information. Whatever happened to helping customers face-to-face?!! There was absolutely no one else in that store -- he could have offered to call the number with me to work out the problem. But I guess my piddly issue with trying to arrange for a Christmas gift to be under the tree for my dad was just not on his radar screen that day. Ugh. I'm still obviously very pissed about it. So to UPS, I gave the finger.
Lower lip in full-on pout mode, I made my way to Lifeblood for my appointment to donate platelets. I have a really rare blood type (AB-), so they are always calling me to donate platelets for one of the children's hospitals here in town. Although I was still feeling slightly crappy from sinus issues, I couldn't consciously refuse to give life-saving platelets to a child for Christmas, so I went anyway and tethered myself to the IV for two hours. So to Lifeblood (and LeBonher), I gave of myself.
Then on to the bank to file a claim for debit card fraud. Over the weekend, several fraudulent charges popped up on my account, and the bank associate told me that once it posted, I needed to come in and file a claim. There's a whole lot of other hullaballo that goes along with this to...so to the bank and to the fucktard that stole my debit card number...I give of my precious time.
And with that...I'll give myself a shower and hope that the rest of this holiday break ends up better than the beginning so far!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
assistant
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